


Confluence

by weaponised_hippo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Head Injury, No beta we die like mne
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weaponised_hippo/pseuds/weaponised_hippo
Summary: It takes him a while to find it in the undergrowth but when he does, it steals his breath. He can only stare.The giant robotic lion rumbles in response to his presence, its eyes light up a warm yellow. But it doesn’t move.“Blue,” he murmurs dumbly. He has no idea what it means but for the first time in a long time, he feels hope.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	1. Fog

The man knows only two things for sure.

The first; he can’t remember anything. 

The second; he’s not the same as the people around him.

He looks too different, sounds too different.

It’s okay, they tell him when he wakes up in their village with his head reeling and his memory gone. We’ll look after you.

They teach him things about their culture, their customs, clothes and food. Nothing is familiar. He’s not sure how different it is from his own.

_(he can’t remember his own)_

They ask him what he’d like to be called but he has no idea. How about Asel, they suggest. Sounds good to him. So they call him Asel. He quickly gets used to it.

_(he has nothing else to compare it to)_

Some things do come back to him, but they’re not memories. More like skills. 

For example, Asel knows how to swim. In fact, he’s very good at it. A natural, his companions tell him.

They’re a heavy-set race. Not very agile in the water.

They teach him all about their small planet. It’s lush, mostly jungle with very few oceans but lots of rivers and lakes. 

They tell him that theirs is the only inhabited planet in their small solar system. Despite their seemingly primitive way of life, they turn out to have an incredible knowledge of the stars that dust their sky.

They know that there are other inhabited planets in the universe and that some races explore space in highly advanced ships.

They’ve seen them, they say. Moving at impossible speeds across the night sky.

They tell him about the Galra, the greatest threat in the universe. Nothing can stop the Galra, they say.

_(that’s not right, but he doesn’t know why)_

They ask him what planet he is from. They ask him how he found himself on theirs. They ask him what he does. Is he an explorer? A hunter? A fighter?

He doesn’t have answers for any of them but he knows they’re trying to find out if he’s a threat.

_(he doesn’t have an answer for that either)_

He makes friends with a youngster called Babu. He is one of the tribe’s hunters. Babu offers to teach him how to hunt. Asel quickly agrees.

“I’d like to contribute,” he tells his shorter friend. 

Babu grins, exposing stubby teeth. “I think you’re well enough by now. Any chance you know how to use a spear?”

“I have good aim,” Asel says. 

He can tell Babu wants to ask him how he knows this but his new friend just gives him a shrewd look. 

Babu takes him to the armoury where the tribe’s blacksmith fits him with a bow.

“Know how to use it?” the blacksmith wonders, not unkindly.

“I have good aim,” Asel repeats, holding the bow upside down.

Babu laughs good-naturedly. “Veena can give you some tips,” he offers.

Veena is intimidating but patient. She shows him the basics of archery over the course of a few days.

“You do have good aim,” she concedes with a small smile.

“How’s your head?” Babu asks when they return from the practice range.

Asel unconsciously touches the fresh scar over his left eye, the only evidence of the head injury that he assumes caused his memory loss.

It still hurts a bit but his headaches have almost disappeared. 

_(he doesn’t mention the dreams)_

“Better,” he says truthfully. “I’m ready to contribute.”

Babu cocks his square head. “Don’t push yourself.”

They make plans to head out the next day.

*

_The dreams are always blue._

_He’s not sure how he knows this because he seldom sees anything in them. It’s more of a feeling._

_Sometimes, there is a distant figure. A shape that doesn’t look humanoid. Angular and dominating._

_But the presence is warm and inviting. He trusts it immediately._

_And every time he tries to get to it, he wakes up._

*

The first week of hunting with Babu is touch and go. Asel has good aim but the bow feels awkward and unfamiliar.

In the second week, he kills his first _niquh_. A large flightless bird-like creature.

Babu is ecstatic. “You’re contributing,” he says teasingly. 

It’s good-natured but Asel only smiles for as long as Babu can see him. The whole thing feels wrong somehow.

As they head back to the village something goes wrong. It’s a fluke really.

The forest surrounding the village has very few predators. When they do show up, it’s a big deal.

This one is just big, full stop.

“Run!” Asel screams at Babu, before taking off in the opposite direction. The beast follows him because he’s bigger and noisier, as he knew it would. Babu is safe.

Asel is fast but not that fast. The six-legged predator is catching up. He knows the area well enough by now. Knows what his options are. 

The river it is.

The drop from the cliff face into the river is terrifying but it stops the pursuit cold. He’s grateful for that at least when the freezing water closes over his head.

For a second, rising fear threatens to take over. 

_(when you’re panicking, don’t panic)_

The mantra comes out of nowhere but it focuses him long enough to orientate himself and find the surface. 

Just one breath of fresh air is all it takes and he’s in control again. He relaxes against the current, letting it take him downstream until the river widens and the current slows.

Only then does he make for the shore. Even with the slower current, he’s out of breath by the time he pulls himself out of the water.

Asel lies on his back, focusing on his breath. In, out. In, out.

In that moment, he thinks he remembers something.

_(getting tumbled by waves, salt water up his nose, hot brown skin)_

He drifts, somewhere between consciousness and oblivion. 

Then, in a rush, he’s awake. Eyes open, breath even. He sits up.

He’s not sure how long he’s been lying on the riverbank but the sun has moved across the sky and he realises it’ll be dark in a few hours. 

It was mid-morning when he was separated from Babu.

The thought of his friend drives him to his feet. He has no way of knowing for sure if Babu survived and it gnaws at him. 

That’s when he feels it. The warm, inviting presence from his dreams. It’s here.

Without thinking, he lurches forward. Lightheaded, he crashes through the forest. He feels...something.

_(relief? joy?)_

It feels familiar. It feels like...going home. 

It takes him a while to find it in the undergrowth but when he does, it steals his breath. He can only stare.

The giant robotic lion rumbles in response to his presence, its eyes light up a warm yellow. But it doesn’t move. 

“Blue,” he murmurs dumbly. He has no idea what it means but for the first time in a long time, he feels hope.


	2. Reunion

Asel stays with the blue lion longer than he intends. He knows the villagers and Babu will be worried but he can’t seem to pull himself away. The lion doesn’t move the entire time he kneels at its feet but the eyes pulse with a warm glow.

_(in time with his heartbeat)_

Eventually, he stands.

“I’ll be back,” he says. 

The lion makes no noise but that familiar feeling in his mind intensifies. Asel isn’t sure, but he thinks it’s acknowledgement. 

Asel looks back as he leaves many times, even when the giant blue lion is out of sight. He fights the urge to run back.

This is good, he tells himself. He can find answers now.

His return to the village isn’t as he imagined. The villagers are agitated, afraid. They barely look at him as he walks towards the centre of the village where the head elder’s hut is. 

The sun is setting but even in the low light, he can see there are strangers in the village. He stops dead as he realises they look a lot like him. 

_(the shock of the drop into the cold river was nothing compared to this)_

They haven’t noticed him yet. They’re talking with the village elder. And Babu.

Asel smiles briefly. He’s glad to see his friend is okay.

“Lance!”

Asel looks up at the shout. One of the newcomers is coming towards him. He’s the same height as Asel but broader. He’s smiling but also...crying?

Asel takes a step back. The newcomer hesitates, his smile fading. 

“Please,” Babu is saying as he comes forward. “It’s as I explained. He doesn’t remember anything.”

“Babu,” Asel says. “Who are these people?”

*

Asel sits on one side of the fire, feeling adrift. He glances at the newcomers sitting together on the other side but doesn’t maintain eye contact. 

They also look awkward. And sad.

The tall one smiles at him whenever he catches his eye.

The villagers have given them some privacy, which he’s not sure he’s glad for or not.

Asel swallows, feeling nervous all of a sudden. The silence has gone on too long for comfort. But that’s his fault isn't it, he realises, thinking back to how they reacted when he asked Babu who they were.

He clears his throat. “Do you know about the blue lion in the forest?”

As one they look at him in elation.

“The blue lion is here?” the smallest one exclaims. “Why haven’t I been able to detect her then?”

Asel hopes that question isn’t being directed at him.

“The blue lion is yours,” the tall white-haired one tells him. “You are her paladin.”

Asel stares at her for a second and then looks away with heated cheeks. 

_(she’s really intimidating)_

“What’s a paladin?” he asks, focusing on the fire. 

“Like a pilot,” the one in red says. He also stares at the flames. He seems almost angry.

Asel is stunned. “She can fly,” he says softly. It’s more like a memory than a realisation. 

_(he already knew that)_

“Is your head okay?” 

Asel looks up. It’s the big guy who first approached him. He looks almost afraid. Or concerned?

Asel’s hand drifts unconsciously to his scar. “Apart from the massive memory loss, you mean?”

For some reason, this breaks the tension. A few of them laugh. They look relieved, but Asel’s not sure why.

“What are your names?” he asks. 

This kills the mirth but at least the tension doesn’t return. They introduce themselves. 

Shiro. Keith. Hunk. Pidge. Allura. Coran.

Then almost as though scripted, they start to tell him about themselves. And him.

About the lions. Where they come all come from. The war.

Voltron.

And the Galra.

“I know about them,” Asel interjects with a hard frown. “Babu told me.”

“Does any of this seem familiar?” the one called Shiro asks.

“Only Blue,” Asel says simply. Easily.

“Can you take us to her?” the small one, Pidge, asks. “She must be damaged if she’s not moving or communicating.”

Asel nods thoughtfully. “It...I mean, she didn’t move when I saw her,” he confirms. “But we can only go tomorrow. It’s too dangerous at night.”

The one called Keith seems about to object, but Shiro cuts him off. “Of course.”

*

Asel needs time to process what he’s learned. He leaves Babu to show the...Paladins and Alteans to the guest quarters and busies himself with village chores. 

He’s replenishing the woodpile when Babu approaches. His expression is neutral.

“You found your friends,” he says, his tone impossible to read.

“You’re my friend,” Asel replies bluntly. “I don’t know those people.”

“But they know you.”

Asel pauses. He fidgets with the axe. 

“Everything’s complicated now,” he says. He’s not sure what he means by that.

Babu smiles as if he does. “You couldn’t have stayed here forever.”

“Why not?"

Babu shrugs before walking away. “They need you.”

*

Asel takes the others to the blue lion at daybreak. Some of them still look half asleep as they make their way through the forest. 

He wonders if he’ll remember the way back to the lion but he soon finds he doesn’t need to. She is like a beacon in his mind. 

When he spots her from afar, he hesitates.

“That wasn’t there before,” he tells the others.

“It’s just her shield,” the Altean, Coran, says. “It should fall as you approach.”

It does and the blue lion’s eyes light up again. Asel can’t help but smile up at her.

Pidge is holding up some sort of device and frowning at the screen. “Her energy is depleted but it looks like it’s coming back up over time,” she mutters. “I’ll need access to the cockpit for a full diagnostic.”

“You’re up, Lance,” Shiro tells him with a smile.

Asel looks away. It grates for some reason.

“That’s not my name,” he says before he can stop himself.

This creates a tense moment. Even without looking he knows the others are exchanging glances.

“I’m sorry,” he says and means it. “I didn’t...”

“It’s okay,” Shiro says firmly but kindly. “This isn’t easy for you. Or us.”

Asel meets his gaze and sees such kindness there he’s struck speechless for a moment. He shifts his gaze to others and sees similar emotions in their expressions. Even when it’s hidden behind something else.

_(they care about him)_

For a moment, he feels intensely remorseful. “I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’m being selfish.”

“Nevermind,” Allura says with a light smile. “As soon as we get back to the Castle of Lions, I’m sure we can fix your memory.”

Asel has so many questions and concerns at this that he freezes for a moment.

“Uh…”

“One step at a time,” Pidge interjects. “Let’s get Blue up and running first. La- Asel, all you need to do is walk up to her and think about going inside. You’re connected, she’ll let you in.”

Asel nods absently, switching his gaze to the blue lion’s face so far above him. As before, she doesn’t move but he feels that sense of belonging again.

_(she cares for him too)_

Yet again, a smile settles on his face, unbidden but not unwelcome. He walks forwards, thinking just briefly about going inside even though he has no idea what it means. On cue, a ramp opens and extends outward, the interior beyond lit by a faint red glow.

Pidge is beside him, nodding. “She’s running on auxiliary power.”

“What happened to her?” Asel murmurs, not really expecting a response.

“A direct hit from some sort of EMP or some kind of electrical weapon could have drained all her power at once without harming you directly,” Pidge muses, also seemingly to herself. “That could have caused you to crash.”

Asel flinches. For just a second, something fills his mind. A vague memory but startling in its suddenness. There’s a sharp pain and he can’t see. 

But as soon as he blinks, it’s gone.

“You okay?”

Asel turns to the voice. The angry-looking one, Keith, is frowning at him. 

_(he doesn’t look angry anymore)_

“I thought...for a second, I thought I remembered something,” Asel says honestly. He looks back at Blue.

“I think Pidge might be right.”


	3. Truth

Asel lingers in the cockpit while Pidge runs tests and checks systems. Nothing she does or says is familiar to him. 

The cockpit doesn’t look familiar but it feels familiar. Asel sits comfortably in the pilot’s _(his)_ chair, feeling Blue’s presence like a subtle purr in the back of his mind. He drifts.

“Shouldn’t you be able to tell me what happened?” he murmurs.

“What?” Pidge looks up from one of the consoles abruptly.

Asel startles for a second. “Sorry, I was talking to Blue.”

Pidge gives him a shrewd look for a moment. 

“Is she talking back?”

Asel shakes his head. “Only...feelings.”

Pidge clicks her tongue thoughtfully. “You’re not wrong though,” she says. “Blue should be able to tell you what happened. Maybe not in actual words, but our lions can share memories with us.”

Asel nods as if he knows this even though he doesn’t. It’s knowledge he doesn’t need to remember, he just knows it. Like swimming or breathing. 

Pidge gives him a lopsided smile. “This is super weird, for the record.”

“Tell me about it,” Asel says easily. 

Pidge pokes a console for a moment, distracted. Suddenly frowning.

Asel sits up. 

_(uh oh)_

“Do you want to remember?” she asks in a rush. A slight wince reveals that she almost immediately regrets it. 

Asel barely has to think about it. “I do.”

Pidge looks up, smiling. 

_(they really do care about him)_

“But I’m also...afraid.”

Pidge is silent for a moment. A long moment. She tinkers with a console until Asel thinks she means to ignore him.

“I get that,” she says eventually. “You have a good life here. Who’s to say your rea- I mean, old life is any better.”

Asel stares at her for a moment. “You?” he suggests.

Pidge laughs at this but it’s good-natured. “Perhaps,” she says.

She frowns again but this time it's all business. 

“I’m not figuring this one out in a hurry,” she mutters.

Back outside, she gives the rest of them the news. Asel follows her out but can’t seem to concentrate. He keeps his gaze on Blue.

“Something is stopping Blue from fully regaining her power,” Pidge is saying. “But whatever caused it is long gone, as far as I can see. It probably was a blast from some kind of weapon or even a natural phenomenon. But I can’t find any reason for her to be taking so long to recover.”

“Nothing is damaged?” Coran wonders out loud, also gazing up at the blue lion but with a critical eye.

“Nothing permanent,” Pidge tells him. "And nothing that would cause this."

“Could it be him?”

Keith’s voice has a way of cutting through the conversation. Asel finds his gaze swivelling towards the red paladin without conscious thought. 

The others look at him too but it’s Asel’s gaze that Keith can’t meet. It settles on Pidge instead.

“We’re connected to our lions,” he goes on. “Could his injury be causing this?”

“My injury is healed,” Asel tells him, his tone more clipped than he intended. His hand twitches, wanting to venture towards his scar but he stills it. 

Keith still doesn’t meet his gaze.

“Clearly not,” he mutters.

Asel has the unexpected urge to say something snippy but he doesn’t know what. A familiarity that’s oddly coupled with annoyance blooms but it has no substance so it dies just as quickly.

And in its wake, a strange panic settles in. Deep in his chest. He has a sudden desire to be back in the village, with his new friends. Where he feels safe.

“I’m heading back,” he says abruptly. “There are chores to take care of in the village.”

He knows he’s using this as an excuse but his companions’ presence is suddenly suffocating and almost threatening. The urge to retreat back to the village is overpowering. 

He glances briefly at Blue before he turns to go, seeking her comfort. 

There is a sudden distress in her presence. The steady glow of her eyes flashes with a sudden intensity. It feels like a warning but he’s not sure what for. 

Mentally, he reaches out, trying to understand, but pain blossoms in his head again. 

He tries to suck in a much-needed breath but it hitches violently in his chest. He backs away so quickly that he loses his footing and collapses backwards.

_(he can’t breath)_

In his mind, Blue’s presence is still there, trying to communicate but his physical body betrays him. Compounded shock steals his concentration. Distant fragments of memories bombard his senses until he doesn’t know what’s real.

He turns away instinctively, fingers dig desperately into the ground beneath him as he tries in vain to take a steady breath. He vaguely hears the others calling his name. 

_(his name?)_

He realises at that moment that he’s had panic attacks before but this is different. There is a pain in his mind that is all-consuming. A physical shock. Something unnatural. Something preventing him from remembering. 

_(but what? And why?)_

Through the pain, he manages to turn onto his back. He looks at the circle of concerned faces above him and realises in a sudden deluge of memory that he knows them. He really knows them.

Tears sting his eyes as the warmth and familiarity he feels towards Blue extends to them. His earlier feelings of discomfort in their presence evaporate, leaving behind such an intense relief that he wants to laugh. 

_(how could he possibly have forgotten them?)_

Then something shifts in his mind and the pain intensifies. It feels physical and disruptive. He can feel his memories draining away again and he knows, he just _knows_ , this is not normal memory loss.

Lance locks eyes with Pidge’s worried gaze amongst all the others. 

“My head,” he grits out, needing her to understand. To fix it. 

“It’s okay,” Pidge is saying. He can’t hear it. Hearing is beyond him now. But he sees it even as their faces blur.

“It’s in my head.” 

He thinks he manages to say it out loud but darkness is swamping him now and before long it’s all he knows. 

*

The man knows only two things for sure.

The first; he can’t remember anything. 

The second; he’s not the same as the people around him.

Well, most of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter but I needed to end it there ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago. I still don't know exactly where it's going but I wanted to explore the idea further. Multiple chapters for sure :)


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